I’m back!!!! I’m sure you have already noticed the good news I have to share…
We are pregnant with TWINS!!!!! They are due 1-1-2012! I feel truly blessed to be carrying these precious miracles, a.k.a. my little loves.
As of today, I am 19 weeks and saw my bouncing babies on the ultrasound this afternoon. My doctor is great and has had me come in every two weeks to get a peek at them (and rest my nerves.)
For the first 17 weeks, I was so sick (morning, noon, and night – every single day) that I had very little energy to do anything. I wanted to blog about our good news but was so scared that something would go wrong. The computer was something I tried to stay clear of to keep my mind and heart in the right place. Plus sitting at the computer for any length of time made me nauseous. I am happy to report that I am finally getting back to feeling like myself and will be blogging more often.
I have added a page at the top documenting our IVF #2 if you are interested in reading.
We are 99% sure we know the gender of the babies but will not be announcing until after our 20 week anatomy scan on the 15th. Can’t wait to share!
XOXO
Monday, August 8, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
A long 2 weeks
First off, thank you ladies for your sweet words and support. It meant a lot.
These past two weeks have been purely stressful. My grandmother’s health took a turn for the worse on Sunday, February 6 and sadly passed away a week ago on Wednesday, February 9th. I went up each day to be there for my Mom. My Mom and I were with my Nanny for her final moments. To say that the last two weeks have been very emotional is an understatement. I have been trying to stay strong for my mom and have been helping her take care of everything. All I can say is that my Mom is an extremely strong and compassionate person. Her love and care is what put my Nanny at peace with leaving this world. I love you Mommy and the person you are.
Of course this past week I was also dealing with the longest visit from AF I have ever had. She was vicious. Boy, I happy to see her finally go. We are planning on starting IVF #2 after my next cycle. Hubs has a business trip the first week of April, so we will see how the timing works out. I am ready for our next go around. I feel so much calmer already knowing what to expect. I have an appointment scheduled for February 21st to talk to the head doctor about our previous attempt as well as our next. I have a list of questions that continues to grow and am looking forward to getting some answers.
To add salt to the wound, Saturday was my cousin’s BABY SHOWER! Talk about 4 hours of torture.
Hubs and I had a very nice and quiet Valentine’s at home with our fur baby. He got me a beautiful bracelet and charm for my necklace. We had a wonderful spaghetti dinner, snuggled on the couch, and caught up on our shows.
I am looking forward to my 4-day weekend. I just wish Friday’s projected 68 degree weather was lasting all weekend.
Hurry up Spring… I miss you!
These past two weeks have been purely stressful. My grandmother’s health took a turn for the worse on Sunday, February 6 and sadly passed away a week ago on Wednesday, February 9th. I went up each day to be there for my Mom. My Mom and I were with my Nanny for her final moments. To say that the last two weeks have been very emotional is an understatement. I have been trying to stay strong for my mom and have been helping her take care of everything. All I can say is that my Mom is an extremely strong and compassionate person. Her love and care is what put my Nanny at peace with leaving this world. I love you Mommy and the person you are.
Of course this past week I was also dealing with the longest visit from AF I have ever had. She was vicious. Boy, I happy to see her finally go. We are planning on starting IVF #2 after my next cycle. Hubs has a business trip the first week of April, so we will see how the timing works out. I am ready for our next go around. I feel so much calmer already knowing what to expect. I have an appointment scheduled for February 21st to talk to the head doctor about our previous attempt as well as our next. I have a list of questions that continues to grow and am looking forward to getting some answers.
To add salt to the wound, Saturday was my cousin’s BABY SHOWER! Talk about 4 hours of torture.
Hubs and I had a very nice and quiet Valentine’s at home with our fur baby. He got me a beautiful bracelet and charm for my necklace. We had a wonderful spaghetti dinner, snuggled on the couch, and caught up on our shows.
I am looking forward to my 4-day weekend. I just wish Friday’s projected 68 degree weather was lasting all weekend.
Hurry up Spring… I miss you!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Beta #2
I deleted Monday’s post. I can’t bear to look at it. I should have known better. I was trying to be optimistic. I was trying to stay positive. I was following what I was told as I have throughout this whole process.
I knew in my heart. The pit of my stomach told me. I just knew. I knew it wouldn’t last. I knew that 17.9 was not a good number to start out at. I knew yesterday morning when I took another FRER and the line was very, very faint. I knew that was not good. I prayed the number would double, but I knew not to expect it to. I knew when I could finally quench my thirst. This was one time I didn’t want to know, but I did know. I knew I couldn’t wait another 24 hours. I knew I needed to go have my blood drawn. I knew I needed to confirm my fear.
I battled through the morning at work feeling like my chest was closing in on me. Tears were welled up in my eyes. I felt like I was going to lose it. I finally called the head IVF nurse and told her my concerns. She tried to be positive and keep any hope alive. She said if I could be there by noon I would have the results by 3. I asked her if she recommended me to come today or tomorrow morning. She replied, “Come today if you want to follow your heart. Come tomorrow if you want to follow science.” I got permission to leave as at this point I couldn’t hold it in. The tears were just rolling down my cheek. I drove in the rain to the FC. There was no one in the waiting room, so they took me back right away. I went home and waited and waited and waited. Finally, the phone rang. She confirmed what I already knew. Beta was 4.4. My pregnancy was over.
Even though I tried mentally to prepare myself for what I knew was coming, I still felt like someone just cut me open and ripped out my heart. The pain was so heavy. The hurt was so deep. The anger was so strong. The dream was crushed. I knew it all along. All last week I just had “that” feeling that this was not going to be.
I immediately called my mom. I couldn’t call my husband at work. There are always people around and I knew he needed to be alone when I told him. My mom has been my rock. I was crying so bad that she couldn’t understand me. I told her I would call her back. 35 minutes later as I was sitting in the chair, crying as I stared out the window. I saw my mom pull into my driveway. Never in my 28 years of life has my mom not been there for me. We hugged and cried. She comforted me as only a mother can do. We talked and I explained to her everything that I discussed with the nurse.
My husband called around 5pm as he always does. I was going to try to wait until he got home to tell him but he could already tell something was wrong from my voice. I tried to tell him but I couldn’t get the words out. Finally, I did. He asked me how I knew for sure since my blood work was supposed to be the next day. I told him how I had the blood drawn this afternoon and they confirmed what I thought. I could tell he was sad. He said, “We’ll try again.” When he got home, we hugged and cried and talked.
I do know one thing is that we are not giving up! Do you hear me Infertility?
WE ARE NOT GIVING UP!
I knew in my heart. The pit of my stomach told me. I just knew. I knew it wouldn’t last. I knew that 17.9 was not a good number to start out at. I knew yesterday morning when I took another FRER and the line was very, very faint. I knew that was not good. I prayed the number would double, but I knew not to expect it to. I knew when I could finally quench my thirst. This was one time I didn’t want to know, but I did know. I knew I couldn’t wait another 24 hours. I knew I needed to go have my blood drawn. I knew I needed to confirm my fear.
I battled through the morning at work feeling like my chest was closing in on me. Tears were welled up in my eyes. I felt like I was going to lose it. I finally called the head IVF nurse and told her my concerns. She tried to be positive and keep any hope alive. She said if I could be there by noon I would have the results by 3. I asked her if she recommended me to come today or tomorrow morning. She replied, “Come today if you want to follow your heart. Come tomorrow if you want to follow science.” I got permission to leave as at this point I couldn’t hold it in. The tears were just rolling down my cheek. I drove in the rain to the FC. There was no one in the waiting room, so they took me back right away. I went home and waited and waited and waited. Finally, the phone rang. She confirmed what I already knew. Beta was 4.4. My pregnancy was over.
Even though I tried mentally to prepare myself for what I knew was coming, I still felt like someone just cut me open and ripped out my heart. The pain was so heavy. The hurt was so deep. The anger was so strong. The dream was crushed. I knew it all along. All last week I just had “that” feeling that this was not going to be.
I immediately called my mom. I couldn’t call my husband at work. There are always people around and I knew he needed to be alone when I told him. My mom has been my rock. I was crying so bad that she couldn’t understand me. I told her I would call her back. 35 minutes later as I was sitting in the chair, crying as I stared out the window. I saw my mom pull into my driveway. Never in my 28 years of life has my mom not been there for me. We hugged and cried. She comforted me as only a mother can do. We talked and I explained to her everything that I discussed with the nurse.
My husband called around 5pm as he always does. I was going to try to wait until he got home to tell him but he could already tell something was wrong from my voice. I tried to tell him but I couldn’t get the words out. Finally, I did. He asked me how I knew for sure since my blood work was supposed to be the next day. I told him how I had the blood drawn this afternoon and they confirmed what I thought. I could tell he was sad. He said, “We’ll try again.” When he got home, we hugged and cried and talked.
I do know one thing is that we are not giving up! Do you hear me Infertility?
WE ARE NOT GIVING UP!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
5dp4dt
Wow! I feel like I have been MIA! As of today, I am 5dp4dt. Here is a quick rundown of my days since Thursday.
Thursday & Friday – On the couch ALL.DAY.LONG! My mom stayed over Thursday night since it was going to snow throughout the night. On Friday, we had a Say Yes to the Dress mini marathon. It was great to lounge around with her all day. She sure did spoil me!
By the time Saturday afternoon came around, I was desperate to get out of the house. Hubs and I went to P.F.Chang’s and Borders. I bet you can guess what section I was in! It felt wonderful to get out and about. On Sunday, we went over to my parent’s house to celebrate my Dad’s birthday. Monday morning I had my appointment to get my blood drawn to check my estradriol. While there, I asked to speak to someone since I had not received a phone call on Saturday regarding whether or not any of the other embryos made it to freeze. I was not too happy with how it was presented to me (and the couple day delay), but unfortunately none of the embies made it to freeze :( I am trying to stay positive that the 2 inside me have settled in and are starting to enjoy their new home. My mom and I shared a good laugh today. I was talking to her about how I hope these two little ones are comfy and she proceeded to say how she thinks that they are thriving inside me. I jokingly replied, “Yea, that is probably why the others didn’t make it to freeze. They were jealous that these two got to come home with me and they were stuck in a petri dish!”
I have to say, it is extremely hard to not over analyze every single little thing. I have felt crampy at different times throughout each day. Today is the first day I have felt bloated. Even when I was doing my shots, I never got bloated like I had expected to. However, the bloat could also very well be from the thin mint cookies that I purchased from my niece or the ones that were front and center on a nice pretty plate that one of my co-workers brought in screaming "Eat Me!". I really think there is “something” that the Girl Scouts put in them because I seriously cannot each just one. Hello! I am a thin mint addict! It might be a good thing if I hide them now. I did only have two today but the night is still not over :)
I’m still up in the air whether or not I will POAS before my beta on Monday, January 31st. There is a huge part of me that really wants to wait, but the other part wants to get out the tests I have and go to town. At this point, I am not sure who is going to win. LOL.
Hurry up week! I want to know if I have some buns in the oven!
Thursday & Friday – On the couch ALL.DAY.LONG! My mom stayed over Thursday night since it was going to snow throughout the night. On Friday, we had a Say Yes to the Dress mini marathon. It was great to lounge around with her all day. She sure did spoil me!
By the time Saturday afternoon came around, I was desperate to get out of the house. Hubs and I went to P.F.Chang’s and Borders. I bet you can guess what section I was in! It felt wonderful to get out and about. On Sunday, we went over to my parent’s house to celebrate my Dad’s birthday. Monday morning I had my appointment to get my blood drawn to check my estradriol. While there, I asked to speak to someone since I had not received a phone call on Saturday regarding whether or not any of the other embryos made it to freeze. I was not too happy with how it was presented to me (and the couple day delay), but unfortunately none of the embies made it to freeze :( I am trying to stay positive that the 2 inside me have settled in and are starting to enjoy their new home. My mom and I shared a good laugh today. I was talking to her about how I hope these two little ones are comfy and she proceeded to say how she thinks that they are thriving inside me. I jokingly replied, “Yea, that is probably why the others didn’t make it to freeze. They were jealous that these two got to come home with me and they were stuck in a petri dish!”
I have to say, it is extremely hard to not over analyze every single little thing. I have felt crampy at different times throughout each day. Today is the first day I have felt bloated. Even when I was doing my shots, I never got bloated like I had expected to. However, the bloat could also very well be from the thin mint cookies that I purchased from my niece or the ones that were front and center on a nice pretty plate that one of my co-workers brought in screaming "Eat Me!". I really think there is “something” that the Girl Scouts put in them because I seriously cannot each just one. Hello! I am a thin mint addict! It might be a good thing if I hide them now. I did only have two today but the night is still not over :)
I’m still up in the air whether or not I will POAS before my beta on Monday, January 31st. There is a huge part of me that really wants to wait, but the other part wants to get out the tests I have and go to town. At this point, I am not sure who is going to win. LOL.
Hurry up week! I want to know if I have some buns in the oven!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
I'm PUPO
... and very excited about it :)
Today was the day! We had a 4dt at 11:30 a.m. Sorry I didn't update yesterday. I accidently hit the on/off switch to the modem while putting back my paper shredder. All last night I thought the internet was down, while long and behold it wasn't. Oops! This morning I started guzzling down water @ 9:30. My mom went with me since hubs had a luncheon meeting that he needed to attend at work. Since he was off the beginning of the week and has taken off different days for doctor appointments, we thought it was better he was at work. He called all morning to check on me and sent me sweet texts.
When I arrived this morning the nurse checked my bladder. She said it was perfect if I could hold it. Anything for the babies :) The embryologist came in to give me the run down on our embryos. The two that were transferred today were morulas, right where they needed to be at day 4 (very happy about that). The other four are still dividing but have slowed down a bit. They will continue to keep an eye on them until day 6 to see if they will be frozen. Keep dividing little ones.
Dr. N came in and got me ready so that when the embryologist came in with the little ones, we were ready to go. The nurse told my mom and I the spot on the screen to keep our eye on. They doctor put the catheter in and said, "This looks like the perfect, comfy spot." With that I saw the droplet released containing my embabies. It was amazing to see when and where the embryos were put. I am overjoyed to have them inside me, right where they belong. Thank you modern science and modern medicine. I am eternally grateful.
And now without further ado...
My Embabies!!
(Bunker down little ones. We love you!)
Today was the day! We had a 4dt at 11:30 a.m. Sorry I didn't update yesterday. I accidently hit the on/off switch to the modem while putting back my paper shredder. All last night I thought the internet was down, while long and behold it wasn't. Oops! This morning I started guzzling down water @ 9:30. My mom went with me since hubs had a luncheon meeting that he needed to attend at work. Since he was off the beginning of the week and has taken off different days for doctor appointments, we thought it was better he was at work. He called all morning to check on me and sent me sweet texts.
When I arrived this morning the nurse checked my bladder. She said it was perfect if I could hold it. Anything for the babies :) The embryologist came in to give me the run down on our embryos. The two that were transferred today were morulas, right where they needed to be at day 4 (very happy about that). The other four are still dividing but have slowed down a bit. They will continue to keep an eye on them until day 6 to see if they will be frozen. Keep dividing little ones.
Dr. N came in and got me ready so that when the embryologist came in with the little ones, we were ready to go. The nurse told my mom and I the spot on the screen to keep our eye on. They doctor put the catheter in and said, "This looks like the perfect, comfy spot." With that I saw the droplet released containing my embabies. It was amazing to see when and where the embryos were put. I am overjoyed to have them inside me, right where they belong. Thank you modern science and modern medicine. I am eternally grateful.
And now without further ado...
My Embabies!!
(Bunker down little ones. We love you!)
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Still Growing!
The Fertility Center called this morning and said, "I'm happy to report that all 6 divided again." I replied, "Yeah! I'm glad they are all doing what they are supposed to be doing." I feel like they are at the babysitter's! LOL. She said that we were not going to do a transfer tomorrow since they were dividing nicely. So Thursday or Friday it is. I can't wait! I also started the progesterone gel this morning. Fun I tell ya!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Grow Embies Grow!
Around 10:30 a.m I got the call. The IVF nurse said that I ended up having 9 mature eggs and that they ICSI'd all 9 of them. She continued to say 6 fertilized nicely. 6! We have 6 embryos. I am so happy. Keep growing little embies. We already love you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)